I would never, ever trade my family, my life, for anyone else's. Why? Because I would then be a different person with different values, different qualities, different strengths, different weaknesses. The greatest gift from God to me as an individual is my parents. They have raised me up founded in the Bible, in Christ's love for me, in their love for me, and in an immediate level of base respect for every other human being in this world, not for who they are or aren't or what they've done or haven't done, but simply because their Souls were made in the likeness of the God whom I serve. Without the dedication and loyalty of my devoted parents, I would not be the person that I am, where I am. All the little things have added up, yes - but each of them has had a life-altering (for me) conversation with me, just me.
For my Mom, it happened when I was twelve. I wasn't caring at that point that I was messing up constantly, and therefore was an overly strong-willed, stubborn, disobedient child to my poor parents. They each tried to correct me in their own way, and through the course of time, Mommy finally did it. She heard a teaching on the radio and altered and added to it with Bible verses and other such encouragements. When I brought up the following speech she gave me to her the other day, she couldn't even recall it. She wasn't especially pleased with me that day, but what she said to me was one of the most inspiring things I've ever heard.
She said, "Mikayla, every persons life is shaped by their teenage years; it's so difficult to flip it all around after you hit twenty. You are mostly set in your ways by then, and all of your basic foundations have been set. Think of your life as a house being constructed from bricks. Some bricks are made out of stone, and some out of sawdust. If the bottom layer has sawdust bricks in it, then all of the structure is insecure; on the layer, even, where there are faulty bricks, every layer above the unstable one is useless, not because of themselves, but because of what it has been built upon. But even still, sometimes when we let our layers of strength fall down, we can rebuild, and better ourselves. It hurts, yes; but no matter how small your building is, if it's built on the right stuff, if you have a firm foundation, when the storm comes by you, you will be found standing when it blows over."
Boy, did I ever get my act together. Being a firstborn, the worst punishment you could ever give me is to tell me I'm wrong, to criticize me, to tell me I'm messing up - but it's also the most affective. Sure, I felt bad when I used to get spanked or get some hot sauce, and I feel and I feel bad when I get my Mac taken away, but those things take a lot longer to get through, you know?
What my Dad said to me changed my worldview, not my attitude, thought it was no less profound. I went in to work with him a few months ago at 11pm at night - we were up till nearly 3am. On the hour long drive to the site needing serviced, we talked about how life is supposed to be - the way God planned it. We got on the topic of teenagers - and I warn you, if you're a teenager, either quit reading or prepare to be challenged to the core. Teenagers, high schoolers, they think, many times, that they know everything, can make their own decisions and choices, all the time, rule the world. So, so not true. Here's what my very wise Father has to say on the subject -
"People, especially teens, don't seem to understand that you don't learn so that you can make your own decisions, so that you can know best, so that you can lead your own life; you learn so that you can best aline yourself with the will of God." He went on to say that he wished people would realize, "I'm tired of fighting against God - it would be a lot easier to just take that energy and put it towards His good works." That touches on two things - (a) struggling with guilt is a choice, and (b) God is never on our side - for He is not a respecter of persons - but, we can be on His side.
My parents are two of the most amazing, godly people I know. And I'll say it again. I would not be the person I am today were it not for them.
Ohh, and by the way - if you ever feel like giving me, or one of my siblings, a compliment on character, don't do it. Give it to my parents.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
The Me
This is another poem I wrote after looking up in the mirror after washing my hands in the sink - I literally stood mystified for about 15 seconds, then the moment passed. I went to my room later and wrote this. :)
It's a normal habit,
It's nothing really new,
But when I looked up today,
I have to say,
I was surprised to see you!
I noticed keenly in your eyes
Something I'd not of yet,
And in your face a mystery
I'd never known before.
A countenance I take for granted -
I see it every day.
Yet it was something unbeknownst -
Like the first time you see a familiar face.
In that moment that I stood
Seeking my mirrors council,
I felt beautiful - not outer,
But as if my heart glowed through my face.
The Lord has given, and so takes,
But then and there I saw the me -
The me I someday hope
To really, truly be.
The time it takes to get there
Will mindfully be well-spent
For at the end what I shall get
Will be what none can take.
It's a normal habit,
It's nothing really new,
But when I looked up today,
I have to say,
I was surprised to see you!
I noticed keenly in your eyes
Something I'd not of yet,
And in your face a mystery
I'd never known before.
A countenance I take for granted -
I see it every day.
Yet it was something unbeknownst -
Like the first time you see a familiar face.
In that moment that I stood
Seeking my mirrors council,
I felt beautiful - not outer,
But as if my heart glowed through my face.
The Lord has given, and so takes,
But then and there I saw the me -
The me I someday hope
To really, truly be.
The time it takes to get there
Will mindfully be well-spent
For at the end what I shall get
Will be what none can take.
The Brink Of Her Heart
This is a poem I wrote from the perspective of a man in love with a woman who thinks she could never be good enough for him. Hope you like it! :)
She has led me to the edge
Just to push me back;
Led me to the door
Only to shut it in my face.
On the brink of her heart
Have I stood
But the threshold will not pass me by it.
Has she a secret to hide
She is scared to relinquish?
No matter the weight, I swear,
Let me take it!
A smile to hide the sorrow,
A shaft of hair to hide wrinkled brow;
It's apparent - her burden
Is borne alone.
Lead me to the edge again, my love,
Light the path to the brink of your heart
This night -
Let us flee and live on the moon,
Dear One,
For weight is more easily borne there.
For, the brink of my heart
Brims with love, the depths of my heart,
Your Home.
She has led me to the edge
Just to push me back;
Led me to the door
Only to shut it in my face.
On the brink of her heart
Have I stood
But the threshold will not pass me by it.
Has she a secret to hide
She is scared to relinquish?
No matter the weight, I swear,
Let me take it!
A smile to hide the sorrow,
A shaft of hair to hide wrinkled brow;
It's apparent - her burden
Is borne alone.
Lead me to the edge again, my love,
Light the path to the brink of your heart
This night -
Let us flee and live on the moon,
Dear One,
For weight is more easily borne there.
For, the brink of my heart
Brims with love, the depths of my heart,
Your Home.
Who I Am - Identity
Who I Am - Identity.
What does it mean to be alive, to be human, a person, yourself? That depends on two things, in my opinion - your worldview, and your identity. When combined with personality, background, belief, and morals, they create a unique individual who can be neither replicated nor put into a stereotypical box of normalcy.
When you get to know someone, it never, ever happens in a day, or a month, and rarely does it take any less than at least a year to get a general idea about who someone really is, in my opinion. People are somewhat like complicated, ancient books - we can be read, over time, by struggling through the difficult parts to understand, and sometimes taking the time to slowly unstick pages that are glued together, to wait a long time on occasion for some things to make sense, for the real story of a person's life to unravel. Maybe the hardest part about getting to genuinely know someone for who they are is the devotion, dedication and patience it takes to get them to open up to you, to face their fears and insecurities, and to trust you.
Trust. Trust is something that takes a small eternity to build, yet can be torn down in a brief moment of carelessness. Trust is so fragile, so delicate, so precious. It's so pricy that it cannot be measured by the measures that mere men use... trust, in its perfected form, is deserving of the awe of humanity. To build up someone's trust in you is to tear down their protective walls, the fortress that they've slowly and steadily built around themselves and all that is meaningful to their hearts, all that touches their timeless, ageless, endless Souls. Ahh, trust... what hard work we go to to earn it; but in reality, could anyone ever deserve it? We all mess up sometimes, we all fail, we all slip up and miss the mark that we strive for at times - it's a hard, cold reality of life.
Life - this little game we play with time, this short thing that we take so much for granted - we have little enough of it. We're here for a mere moment, a brief time. We never have enough time to do all that we want, to have all that we wish for, to strive for all that we would be in a perfect world. Or, maybe that's not true, maybe I should scratch that - for crushing the idea that you're not to attempt to better yourself is not my agenda. Yes - we are supposed to try, to strive, to wish, to attempt - but we're also supposed to accept that our power isn't enough. We're not big enough. All that we could ever do will never be enough. We're just not strong enough, because we're not "all that". I'm not, you're not, no one is, really.... no one who's only human, that is. There was One, who was all human, but not ONLY human, who was strong enough, big enough, powerful enough - yes, He really was "all that". In fact, He even saved my life once. That's a really good story, you know...
You see, I was Eve in the garden, the woman who sinned and gave all that was good and perfect and true for all that was ugly and evil and broken. I was Lot's wife, who didn't trust her husband or God, and turned back to mourn her home. I was Leah, who purposely made fun of her barren sister. I was Moses' sister, who betrayed her brother. I was king David's wife, who didn't understand why her husband worshiped the God of Israel in the way that he did. I was Potiphar's wife, who lusted after Joseph, her husband's slave, and then lied and sent Joseph, the innocent one, to prison. I was Gomer, Hosea's adulteress wife, who her husband bought back for himself after she left him. I was the prostitute, who Jesus saved by daring the men condemning her to throw the first stone if he was sinless. I was Sapphira, who let her husband keep back part of the money set aside for God.
I was a dirty, ugly, pitiful, writhing sinner. Wretched, contorted, skewed, greasy, unclean, blinded, unpleasant. A sinner.
But, no longer! I am triumphantly redeemed, saved from my worst enemy, which is myself, salvaged, washed, stainless, purified, and called to be Holy, even as God Himself is Holy. He is the worthy lamb that was slain for the sin of man... the true living sacrifice.
While I was still a sinner, Jesus, the man who saved me, chose me - made the decision that I was someone worth the weight of death, of sin, worth the burden of the wrath of God. He struggled through 40 days without food or water, He washed the feet of His followers that were caked in mud and the foulness of uncouth dirt streets; He, a King among all the kings, carried willingly two beams in the shape of a cross that were bound together by nails similar to the ones what were driven through the sinews and tendons of His wrists and His feet, ferociously gouged into His roughened, yet still tender, flesh. He was stabbed in the side by a sword, drained of His last drop of lifeblood, for me - yet, not a bone in His body was broken, for He was punctured, but still complete. He saved me by dying my death - He switched places with me.
So, who am I? I am salvaged, saved, redeemed by One who loved me so much, He gave His life up and took on the weight of all my sin. That's where my identity is.
My worldview is that He didn't just do this for me - He did it for you, too, and for every single person who has ever walked the face of this earth.
He Loves You.
You are a treasure - a gift - a piece if gorgeous art - a masterpiece - crafted my immaculate workmanship - individual - one of a kind - made to worship - beautiful - loved incredibly much by God Himself - you are someone worth dying for.
What does it mean to be alive, to be human, a person, yourself? That depends on two things, in my opinion - your worldview, and your identity. When combined with personality, background, belief, and morals, they create a unique individual who can be neither replicated nor put into a stereotypical box of normalcy.
When you get to know someone, it never, ever happens in a day, or a month, and rarely does it take any less than at least a year to get a general idea about who someone really is, in my opinion. People are somewhat like complicated, ancient books - we can be read, over time, by struggling through the difficult parts to understand, and sometimes taking the time to slowly unstick pages that are glued together, to wait a long time on occasion for some things to make sense, for the real story of a person's life to unravel. Maybe the hardest part about getting to genuinely know someone for who they are is the devotion, dedication and patience it takes to get them to open up to you, to face their fears and insecurities, and to trust you.
Trust. Trust is something that takes a small eternity to build, yet can be torn down in a brief moment of carelessness. Trust is so fragile, so delicate, so precious. It's so pricy that it cannot be measured by the measures that mere men use... trust, in its perfected form, is deserving of the awe of humanity. To build up someone's trust in you is to tear down their protective walls, the fortress that they've slowly and steadily built around themselves and all that is meaningful to their hearts, all that touches their timeless, ageless, endless Souls. Ahh, trust... what hard work we go to to earn it; but in reality, could anyone ever deserve it? We all mess up sometimes, we all fail, we all slip up and miss the mark that we strive for at times - it's a hard, cold reality of life.
Life - this little game we play with time, this short thing that we take so much for granted - we have little enough of it. We're here for a mere moment, a brief time. We never have enough time to do all that we want, to have all that we wish for, to strive for all that we would be in a perfect world. Or, maybe that's not true, maybe I should scratch that - for crushing the idea that you're not to attempt to better yourself is not my agenda. Yes - we are supposed to try, to strive, to wish, to attempt - but we're also supposed to accept that our power isn't enough. We're not big enough. All that we could ever do will never be enough. We're just not strong enough, because we're not "all that". I'm not, you're not, no one is, really.... no one who's only human, that is. There was One, who was all human, but not ONLY human, who was strong enough, big enough, powerful enough - yes, He really was "all that". In fact, He even saved my life once. That's a really good story, you know...
You see, I was Eve in the garden, the woman who sinned and gave all that was good and perfect and true for all that was ugly and evil and broken. I was Lot's wife, who didn't trust her husband or God, and turned back to mourn her home. I was Leah, who purposely made fun of her barren sister. I was Moses' sister, who betrayed her brother. I was king David's wife, who didn't understand why her husband worshiped the God of Israel in the way that he did. I was Potiphar's wife, who lusted after Joseph, her husband's slave, and then lied and sent Joseph, the innocent one, to prison. I was Gomer, Hosea's adulteress wife, who her husband bought back for himself after she left him. I was the prostitute, who Jesus saved by daring the men condemning her to throw the first stone if he was sinless. I was Sapphira, who let her husband keep back part of the money set aside for God.
I was a dirty, ugly, pitiful, writhing sinner. Wretched, contorted, skewed, greasy, unclean, blinded, unpleasant. A sinner.
But, no longer! I am triumphantly redeemed, saved from my worst enemy, which is myself, salvaged, washed, stainless, purified, and called to be Holy, even as God Himself is Holy. He is the worthy lamb that was slain for the sin of man... the true living sacrifice.
While I was still a sinner, Jesus, the man who saved me, chose me - made the decision that I was someone worth the weight of death, of sin, worth the burden of the wrath of God. He struggled through 40 days without food or water, He washed the feet of His followers that were caked in mud and the foulness of uncouth dirt streets; He, a King among all the kings, carried willingly two beams in the shape of a cross that were bound together by nails similar to the ones what were driven through the sinews and tendons of His wrists and His feet, ferociously gouged into His roughened, yet still tender, flesh. He was stabbed in the side by a sword, drained of His last drop of lifeblood, for me - yet, not a bone in His body was broken, for He was punctured, but still complete. He saved me by dying my death - He switched places with me.
So, who am I? I am salvaged, saved, redeemed by One who loved me so much, He gave His life up and took on the weight of all my sin. That's where my identity is.
My worldview is that He didn't just do this for me - He did it for you, too, and for every single person who has ever walked the face of this earth.
He Loves You.
You are a treasure - a gift - a piece if gorgeous art - a masterpiece - crafted my immaculate workmanship - individual - one of a kind - made to worship - beautiful - loved incredibly much by God Himself - you are someone worth dying for.
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